Consent and choice with Reactive Dogs

30th June 2025

When we bring a dog into our homes and lives, whether from a breeder, rescue or private re-home our dogs need us to understand them.

So often the lens is focused on obedience, compliance and doing what we want and expect of that dog.

What is that life experience like for our dogs?

What if the dog we thought we would be enjoying life with doesn’t fit our expectations and aspirations?

Navigating the journey of getting to know each other can be fraught. It may start off well and then change unexpectedly.

A dog that doesn’t fit with expectations or starts to behave in ways we don’t understand is not a bad dog, a dog that is naughty or a dog that needs to be controlled.

A dog that is behaving in certain ways that we don’t like or enjoy, that make us feel stressed, worried or overwhelmed is a dog that needs support, compassion and understanding.

That isn’t an easy ask of us if we don’t understand the behaviours or are fearful or frustrated with our dog.

Typical behaviours that cause concern include hauling on the lead, planting and freezing, lunging, excessive barking, growling, snarling, snapping, nipping, hard mouthing and biting.

It is human to feel shocked and perhaps turn firstly to punishing the dog either verbally or physically. There are plenty of opinions available that reinforce punishment and control to supress the behaviours.

Naturally we want the behaviour to stop quickly. We may find it daunting to consider a learning journey to discover why we are seeing those behaviours and what our dog needs from us immediately and in the longer term for best quality of life.

The quick fix is compelling. Seeing videos that prove that a dogs behaviour can be supressed in minutes is alluring. If they can do it then why wouldn’t it work for us and our dog?

Educating ourselves and parenting our dogs isn’t always on the radar when we bring a dog into our lives. There are strong beliefs that a dog needs to be trained to behave in all situations so that we can take the dog wherever we choose.

There are more opportunities to do things differently. Opportunities to change the lens from what we want our dogs to do and what our dogs need.

I love working with people that have a desire and are motivated to learn more about their dogs behaviour, to understand their dogs needs and develop their own knowledge and skills too.

Punishment and control, coercion and dominance are not on the menu.

Instead, agency, empathy, compassion, consent and choice are front and centre so that we can build a relationship based on trust and positive learning experiences.

Once I invested in the concept of the dogs point of view and life from our dogs perspective everything changed for the better.

It isn’t always easy, it is sometimes challenging, it does mean no harm and our dogs benefit hugely from it.

I love seeing the transformations and the progress that is possible when we take the time to truly consider who our dogs are, what they need from us and meeting those needs.

Consent can only be given when no is an option.